Getting Ready for EMDR: The Skills That Help You Feel More in Control

If you're considering EMDR therapy, whether weekly or through an intensive, you might be wondering what happens before we begin working directly with the experiences that feel stuck or overwhelming.

Many people who come to EMDR have already done quite a bit of therapy. You may already have grounding tools. You may know how to soothe yourself when you're activated. You may notice when you’re starting to get overwhelmed.

In EMDR, we’re not starting from scratch. We’re building on what you already know and adding a few EMDR-specific skills that help the deeper work unfold in a steady, supported way.

What EMDR preparation looks like

Here are a few areas we explore together and strengthen as needed:

Grounding techniques.
If you don’t already have reliable ways to return to the present when you’re flooded, we build those together through sensory exercises, breathwork, and physical grounding strategies.

Resourcing.
We identify the people, strengths, and supports you already have and cultivate new ones when needed. These become anchors for the work.

Understanding your nervous system.
We look at how your body communicates activation, shutdown, or subtle shifts. The more you can recognize your patterns, the easier the work becomes.

Mental containers.
This is the EMDR-specific tool I teach almost everyone, regardless of how much therapy they’ve done. It helps you navigate what gets stirred up during trauma processing.

This last piece makes such a meaningful difference that it’s worth slowing down and highlighting.

What is a mental container?

A mental container is a place in your mind where you can temporarily “set aside” thoughts, feelings, or memories that feel too overwhelming in the moment.

It’s not about ignoring your emotions. It’s about choosing when and how you engage with them.

Imagine a moment when a memory surfaces while you’re making coffee, or anxiety pulls you out of an evening you were hoping to enjoy, or grief catches you off guard during a meeting.
A container gives you a way to say:

“I see that there’s something here. I’m going to come back to it when I have the space to really tend to it.”

It’s a way of giving your mind permission to pause, without shutting down what needs attention.

Why I use containers with EMDR clients

They support you between sessions

After EMDR sessions, your brain often continues making connections and integrating information. This can be gentle or it can bring up new thoughts, emotions, or memories. A container gives you a way to hold anything that surfaces so you don’t feel like you have to resolve it on your own in the moment. You can bring it back into session when you’re ready, with support.

They strengthen your sense of agency

Many women I work with share that their thoughts or emotions sometimes feel overpowering or unpredictable.
Using a container reinforces the internal message:
“I can guide my system. I can choose the timing. I’m not at the mercy of whatever shows up.”

That sense of choice becomes an important part of the healing work during EMDR and beyond.

They help you stay grounded in daily life

Therapy asks a lot of your mind and body, and the rest of your life continues alongside it.
A container allows you to set the deeper work aside when needed so you can stay present at work, with your family, or in the other parts of your day. It’s a gentle way to hold your healing without feeling overwhelmed by it.

What a container is not

A few clarifications help this tool work as intended:

• It isn’t long-term storage.
  The goal is not to push everything away indefinitely. It's a temporary holding place until you can tend to what’s there.

• It isn’t a replacement for processing.
  If something needs to be worked through, we’ll do that together. The container simply lets you choose when to engage.

• It isn’t meant to work instantly.
  Like any skill, it takes practice. Some people connect with it right away; others need time. Both are completely normal.

Why preparation matters so much

Having tools like the container in place helps clients feel steadier, more supported, and more in control throughout the EMDR process. For some people, preparation takes a session or two; for others, it may take a bit longer. It all depends on what you already bring into the work and what will help you feel grounded enough to move forward.

This is true whether you're engaging in weekly EMDR or an intensive designed to work more efficiently. Preparation is always personalized, and the goal is simple: to help you feel as resourced and supported as possible so the deeper healing can take root.

If you’re considering EMDR: Whether you’re in Connecticut or anywhere in New England, I’d be honored to support you in this work. You deserve a space where the deeper layers of your story can be held with care.

Curious about whether EMDR is right for you?
You’re welcome to book a free consultation, and we’ll talk through what preparation would look like for your unique situation.