EGOSTATE THERAPY AND PARTS WORk IN CONNECTICUT
Understand the parts of you that feel at odds with one another.
A compassionate lens to view yourself, build self confidence and shift old patterns.
This may sound like you…
Part of me knows everything is okay…but another part of me can't stop worrying.
A part of me wants to speak up, but another part freezes.
I know I'm being hard on myself, but I can't seem to stop.
We aren't just one emotion, one belief, or one way of responding to the world.
One way of understanding ourselves is through the lens of different parts that developed over the course of our lives, each with its own perspective, role and purpose. Some parts help us organize our day, solve problems, care for others, or navigate work and relationships. Other parts carry painful memories, old beliefs, fear, shame, or hurt from experiences that haven't fully resolved. Some parts work incredibly hard to protect those more vulnerable places, often through perfectionism, overthinking, people-pleasing, staying busy, shutting down, or always preparing for what might go wrong.
None of these parts are "bad."
In fact, they usually developed for very good reasons.
The question isn't "How do we get rid of this part?"
It's "What has this part been trying to do for you?"
THE FOUNDATION
Grounded in egostate therapy
My approach to parts work is based on my training in Ego State Therapy.
Ego State Therapy is based on the understanding that our personalities are naturally made up of different parts or "ego states." Each part holds its own experiences, emotions, beliefs, and ways of responding.
My foundational training in ego state therapy began while working with individuals living with complex dissociation and dissociative disorders. That work gave me a deep appreciation for how the mind organizes itself to survive overwhelming experiences.
While not everyone experiences dissociated parts, many people naturally recognize themselves in parts language.
Almost everyone has experienced moments like:
Parts work simply gives us a compassionate way to understand those internal experiences instead of judging them.
"A part of me wants to..."
"Part of me knows better..."
"I'm torn."
a shift in perspective
Rather than asking, "What's wrong with me?"
We start to ask:
Which parts of you are carrying the most responsibility?
Which parts are exhausted?
Which parts learned they had to stay vigilant?
Which parts still believe the world isn't safe?
Which parts never really had the chance to be heard?
As we begin understanding how these parts interact, patterns that once felt confusing often start to make much more sense.
Instead of feeling like you're fighting yourself, you begin understanding why different parts of you have been pulling in different directions.
From that understanding, change becomes much more possible.
How I Integrate Parts Work & EMDR
I rarely think about EMDR and parts work as separate approaches.
To me, they're partners.
Parts work helps us understand the landscape of your internal world.
EMDR helps the nervous system update the experiences that keep those patterns active.
Often, we'll begin exploring your internal system early in therapy. Getting to know your internal system often helps us identify the beliefs, experiences, and memories that continue to keep you stuck.
From there, EMDR gives us a way to process those experiences so your system no longer has to work so hard to protect you.
Together, these approaches help us move beyond simply understanding your patterns intellectually and toward helping your nervous system experience something different.
OUR GOAL
The goal isn't to eliminate any part of the self.
Not the anxious parts, not the critical ones, not the angry ones. Those parts often developed because they were trying to help.
Instead, our work is helping those parts feel less alone, less burdened, and less stuck in roles they may have been carrying for years.
Over time, therapy becomes less about one part trying to overpower another. We begin strengthening the more grounded, present-day parts of yourself so they can support the parts still carrying fear, shame, or old experiences.
Rather than staying stuck in an internal tug-of-war, your system can begin working together in new ways.
From this:
Fighting yourself
Asking what’s wrong with me
One part overpowering the other
To this:
Understanding why
Curiosity instead of criticism
Your system working together
FAQs:
Common Questions about parts work.
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Parts work is a therapeutic approach that helps us understand the different aspects of ourselves that developed over time. You may notice a part of you that worries, another that strives for perfection, another that wants to rest, or another that avoids conflict. Rather than viewing these responses as flaws, parts work helps us understand how they developed and what they may be trying to protect.
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No. While both approaches recognize that people naturally experience different parts of themselves, they are distinct models. My work is grounded in Ego State Therapy and is closely integrated with EMDR. Rather than focusing on following one specific model, I use a collaborative, trauma-informed approach that helps us understand your internal experience and identify where healing can occur.
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Not at all. Many people naturally describe themselves using phrases like, "Part of me wants to…" or "Part of me knows better…" Others simply notice conflicting emotions or reactions. The language itself isn't what matters. It's simply one way of making sense of your experience with greater compassion and less self-judgment.
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I often use parts work and EMDR together. Parts work helps us understand the different aspects of your internal experience, while EMDR helps the nervous system process the memories and experiences that continue to keep those patterns active. Together, they provide both understanding and a path toward meaningful change.
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Sometimes. During the first few sessions, we may naturally begin noticing different parts of your experience if it feels helpful. This often gives us a clearer understanding of the patterns you're experiencing and helps guide our work together. We move at a pace that feels collaborative and appropriate for you.
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Parts work can be helpful for many of the concerns I commonly treat, including anxiety, perfectionism, people-pleasing, burnout, self-criticism, relationship patterns, trauma, and experiences where you feel stuck despite having insight into why you respond the way you do.
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No. Although Ego State Therapy has roots in working with dissociation and trauma, many people without a dissociative disorder find the framework helpful. It's simply a compassionate way of understanding the different thoughts, emotions, and protective patterns that are part of being human.
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Yes. In fact, this is one of the primary ways I work.
Rather than thinking of EMDR and Ego State Therapy as separate approaches, I see them as complementary. Parts work helps us understand the different aspects of your internal experience and identify the beliefs, emotions and memories that may be contributing to feeling stuck. EMDR then helps the nervous system process those experiences so they no longer carry the same intensity.
For many clients, combining these approaches creates both greater understanding and deeper relief. Parts work helps us make sense of why certain patterns developed, while EMDR helps your brain and nervous system update the experiences that continue to keep those patterns in place.
Ready for the next step?
Ready to understand the parts of you that feel at odds?
The first step is a free 25-minute consultation. There’s no pressure, no commitment. We'll talk through what's bringing you in and whether this feels right.