How EMDR Can Support a Second Birth After Birth Trauma
In my work with clients navigating unexpected birth experiences, I’ve found that even when a birth goes seemingly well, there are often moments tucked into the experience that leave a lasting emotional imprint. Moments where someone felt afraid, dismissed, out of the loop, or unable to make the choices they were hoping for.
And when a birth doesn’t go anywhere near as planned—before, during, or after—it can leave deep wounds. Parents are often left carrying the emotional and physical pieces while also adjusting to new normals. Navigating lingering symptoms. Complications. Exhaustion. All while caring for a newborn in a society that often leaves the birthgiver behind as they become a parent. (That’s a larger systemic issue for another blog.)
So what do most do?
They keep going.
They compartmentalize what happened, (if they can).
They focus on survival.
What Happens to the Memory of That Birth?
In those early days, weeks, and months, the memory of the birth might seem to go quiet—until it doesn’t.
Sometimes it resurfaces in the middle of the night, uninvited.
Sometimes it shows up in the body—a racing heart, shallow breath, tension in the chest—for reasons that don’t seem clear.
And sometimes, it never quiets down at all.
You might carry a constant sense of brokenness.
Grief for the experience you didn’t get to have.
Anger that you were misled or not truly cared for.
Shame that feels deeply personal, even though you know you didn’t do anything wrong.
Another Baby?— The Thought Feels Impossible
Then comes the desire for another child.
You want to grow your family.
You want to hold another baby.
But the idea of pregnancy or birth again feels… impossible.
Not only did the first experience fall short of what you hoped—it now threatens to steal the possibility of a second. The trauma of that first birth starts to cast a shadow over what could be.
This Is Where EMDR Comes In
EMDR can help you work through those tender, unresolved pieces from your first birth.
Through EMDR, you’re able to revisit the memory safely and gently, allowing your brain and body to process what didn’t get fully digested the first time. The fear. The disappointment. The heartbreak. The sense of being let down or powerless.
Instead of continuing to carry those fragments, EMDR helps you rework them into a new narrative—one that offers a sense of clarity, reclaiming, and even redemption.
What would it feel like to not just say:
“It’s over. I’m safe now.”
“I can trust my body.”
“I did the best I could.”
—but to believe it?
To feel it in your body?
That’s the power of EMDR.
It links brain and body to gently release what’s been stuck, making space for confidence, empowerment, and deep healing.
Walking into Your Next Birth Experience
EMDR can’t guarantee that everything will go exactly to plan with a second birth. But it can help you feel more grounded, more connected to yourself, and more prepared—emotionally and physically.
Imagine walking into your next birth experience holding trust and steadiness, rather than pieces of unprocessed pain.
Imagine feeling equipped to handle even the unexpected.
Imagine feeling like you again.
That’s the power of EMDR.
If you're holding fear, grief, or uncertainty from a past birth, you don’t have to carry it into your next. I offer EMDR therapy intensives designed to support women and birthing people in processing reproductive trauma—so they can move forward feeling grounded, empowered, and deeply supported. If you're curious about what this work could look like for you, I’d be honored to walk alongside you.