Is Parts Work the Missing Piece?

Have you ever felt like different parts of you are experiencing completely different emotions—all at once?

Like one part wants to move forward, but another part is still holding back?
Like you can feel grateful and devastated all at once?

This inner push-and-pull is something I hear often—especially as clients are navigating reproductive challenges. You’re not broken or abnormal for feeling this way. You’re human. And you’re carrying more than most people can see.

Maybe you feel supported by family and friends—and still carry an ache of loneliness that’s hard to explain.
Maybe you want to shut down completely, but also can’t stop researching, hoping to find an answer.
Maybe you’re functioning on the outside, but inside, it feels like a quiet (and sometimes tumultuous) storm.

This is where parts work comes in to support you.

What Is Parts Work?

Parts work, also known as ego state therapy, is based on the understanding that we all have different “parts” within us. Together, they make up the whole of who you are. Our parts can have different roles and functions:

Some parts help you get through the day.
Some hold onto old pain.
Some carry strength and resilience.
Some parts carry experiences from childhood and patterns that evolved to help you cope at the time.
Some carry fear, criticism, or grief.

Sometimes, these parts live in harmony. Other times, it feels like these parts are in an irresolvable conflict.

Parts work isn’t about diagnosing or pathologizing. It’s about understanding. It’s about recognizing that when you feel torn or overwhelmed, it’s often because more than one part of you is trying to be heard.

Even the parts that are hardest to acknowledge are not here to sabotage you. They’re here because, at some point—even if it was a long, long time ago—they helped you survive.

In parts work, we don’t try to exile or “fix” those parts. We get to know them. We understand what they’re trying to do—and we help them soften, heal, and find new ways to exist within you.

What Parts Work Looks Like in Therapy

You might be wondering: what does this actually look like in a session?

It’s not about pretending to be someone else or acting out roles. It’s about slowing down and tuning in to yourself.

You might hear me gently ask:

• “Where do you feel that in your body?”

• “Does this feeling remind you of another time in your life?”

• “If this part had a voice, what would it want you to know?”

• "How old does this part feel to be?"

We use tools like mindfulness, visualization, and somatic awareness to help you connect to the different parts that make you who you are. It’s a practice in self-attunement—not pushing or forcing, just noticing with compassion and curiosity.

I often use parts work alongside EMDR, especially when parts are holding onto unprocessed trauma (this may be recent or childhood experiences). EMDR can help those parts release what they’ve been carrying—so you can experience more ease and internal connection.

How This Supports Birth Trauma, Fertility Challenges and Loss

Heartbreaking experiences along the reproductive path often activate many different parts of the self.

There might be:

• A part that’s terrified of going through another loss.

• A part that still holds the pain of a birth that felt out of control.

• A part trying to redefine what motherhood means now.

• A part grieving the dream that didn’t happen.

• A critical part that’s been harsh, trying to make sense of the pain.

These parts carry so much. But they don’t have to carry it alone.

Sometimes, just noticing these parts in therapy—turning toward them, witnessing their pain, and truly hearing what they need—can begin to offer relief.

We listen, we validate, and we support their healing. And slowly, your inner world starts to feel less chaotic—and more connected.

You Don’t Have to Do This Alone

If you’ve felt stuck, even after doing “all the right things,” parts work might be the missing piece.

It’s not about finding a quick fix—it’s about gently reconnecting with the parts of yourself that have been doing their best to protect you all along. It's about honoring their role, understanding their purpose, and finding ways to move forward in a more connected, cohesive way.

If you’re curious about how EMDR and parts work might support your healing, I’d be honored to explore that with you.